


A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

by EnemiesWithBenefits



Series: self insert undertale [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Errortale, Alternate Universe - Outertale, Alternate Universe - PTA Sans, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Alternate Universe - mafiatale, F/F, F/M, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-08 09:41:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 5,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7752616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnemiesWithBenefits/pseuds/EnemiesWithBenefits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans/Reader undertale oneshots, each one using a different prompt/starter found on tumblr. I currently have 1500+ sitting in my computer, waiting for use.</p><p>None are connected unless explicitly stated as such. Each oneshot ranges in length, rating, and which AU it involves. </p><p>Warnings/Tags will be placed at the start of each chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Are you crazy?

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these are written on mobile to pass the time. Doesn't mean they're shitty because of that, however. They're shitty reguardless. It's Undertale Fanfiction by /me/ of all people - what do you expect? Quality content? Pffft.
> 
> Explicit chapters marked with asterisks in titles.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undertale Sans x Reader, Established Relationship, Cursing, Nerds.

“Are you crazy?”

“maaayyybe,” With a wry smile curving along his teeth, Sans continued to pour the drum of baking powder into the 20 foot tall volcano he and Frisk had been working on for the past two weeks. It was almost complete, and it wouldn't be long until they could unveil their masterpiece to an unsuspecting public. "'sides babe, isn't she  _beautiful?_ ”

You rolled your eyes, more or less convinced he loved his plastic creation more than you. Then again, he doesn't fuck a volcano, does he?

_Does he?_

No, no, no, no, _no-_

You really needed to get the image of Sans doing the dirty to a science fair project out of your head.

“I'm going back inside. Sans, if you get yourself killed-”

“then i died in the name of science.” He announced bravely, shooting you a wink.

Oh dear lord.

You left, wondering why the fuck you married such a huge fucking nerd.


	2. Are you even listening to me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Underfell Sans x Reader, Cursing, Fluff

“are you even listening to me?”

 

“Huh? Oh. Were you saying something?” You look up from the menu, only to fall out of your seat. A nervous looking skeleton in a tux is on his knees before you, a black velvet box open in his hands. It's a ring.

 

“doll?” The restaurant is dead silent, the flickering gleam of the candles and chandeliers glinting against his sharp teeth. You knew there’d been a reason beyond celebrating the passage of equal monster rights that brought the two of you to this fancy place.

 

Sitting on your ass, you stare up at a sweating skeleton that had once tried to kill you and was now your best friend, lover,  _ soulmate _ -

 

“Are you asking me-”

 

“to marry me? yeah, i just, uh, thought it would be nice? uh, considering the fact we can now-”

 

“Sans I swear to fucking god.” You stood up, giving him a wicked glare. The rest of your friends - Undyne, Frisk, Papyrus, Alphys, Toriel - everyone - was watching with rapt attention. Not to even mention everyone else in the damn place.

 

“uh, is that a no?” Oh god, he looked like he might teleport away and cry. Shit. You'd only ever seen him cry once before.

 

“Stand up and and kiss me, you fucking nerd.”

 

“huh?” His eye-sockets turned hollow as he stared up at you, seeming at a complete loss.

 

“Stand up and kiss the bride, edge lord.” You grinned, crossing your arms over your MTT brand dress hand picked out by Mettaton. “It's that or it’s a no.”


	3. Are you even listening to yourself?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undertale Sans x Reader, Bordering on Petplay, Fluff, Cursing

“are you even listening to yourself?”

 

“Oh,  _ c’mon _ , Sans!” Laying beside your roommate, you poked at his coveted shoulder. “What's wrong with a dog? Or a cat, maybe? I've had birds before - they're fun. Or a snake, even. Always wanted one of those.”

 

“no, and that’s final. they're messy, smelly, and don't even do much but lie around all day.”

 

“Sans. Are you kidding me?” You threw him an unforgiving glare, ignoring the way he shrugged innocently. “You just described yourself. Seriously.”

 

“ouch.” He put a hand up to his chest, mocking pain as if you'd physically hit him.

 

“Fine, y’know what? I'll be back.” You hop off the couch, ignoring Sans’ questioning look as you grab your phone and keys, leaving with an, “I'll be back.”

 

Later, when you come home with a blue collar, matching leash, two bowls, and a dog bed, Sans nearly kills you until you tackle him to the couch and force the collar around his neck. Once the realization sets in, you can't help but feel satisfied by the cobalt blush that paints his skull and bones for the rest of the day.

 

Eventually Papyrus comes home to see Sans in the corner, asleep in a large albeit comfy dog bed.

  
They both agree to let you get a puppy the very next day.


	4. Are you sure they won't find out?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Underswap AU, Fluff, Dark Ending

“Are you sure they won't find out? Maybe this isn't such a good idea-”

 

“shhhhh! they will if you don't stop taking pappy! wait-”

 

Treading both snow and spiderwebs into the house, you open the front door to find yourself suddenly blinded by all the lights in the house turning on simultaneously.

 

“Surprise!”

 

Standing there, throughout the entire skeleton household, is every monster you've come to know throughout your stay in Snowdin. Standing in the front of the small crowd is Sans and Papyrus, a banner hung from the ceiling proudly stating “Happy Birthday!” clearly in the smaller skeleton’s sloppy handwriting.

 

You… you don't know what to say. Is it really your birthday? 

 

“What… what is all this?” You think you're tearing up. The why eludes you.

 

“it's a surprise party!” Sans announces, gloved hands waving about to all the excited and waiting monsters.

 

“Sans planned the whole thing, kid. He found out Muffet keeps a calendar and he's been marking off the days since you told us when your birthday is.” Papyrus, thankfully, has a lollipop hanging from between his teeth. As long as it's not a cigarette.

 

“But… you guys really didn't…” You don't know what to say. Did they really do all this for you? All of them? The canine unit, Muffet, Snowdrake, Icecap -  _ everyone? _

  
You can't help it. You fall to your knees, crying, not sure you'll ever deserve such kindness, especially when you can still feel year-old dust beneath your fingernails no matter how hard you wash your hands.


	5. Are you sure this is legal?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undertale, Underswap, Underfell, Drug use
> 
> Stretch - Underswap Papyrus.  
> Sans - Undertale Sans.  
> Cherry/Red - Underfell Sans.

“Are you sure this is legal?”

You know it's not.

 

“pffft, who cares?” Lying beside you, Stretch hands you his joint and you pause before passing it over to Sans. The short skeleton gives you a strange look before his warm phalanges brush over your own, taking the blunt without worry.

 

“I'm good, I think.” You've never done something like this before, and you're not sure you want to start. You aren't even sure you still want to be here if they're getting high. How the hell skeletons get high off of smoking weed, you haven't a clue.

 

“ya sure?” Oh yeah, you're sure. You're also pretty sure you want to leave and go see if Cherry’s still at work. Despite being the most irritable of the three of them, you can trust him to not make you feel this kind of guilt when you're uncomfortable around him. With Sans and Stretch you feel obligated to hang out with them because they're your friends. With Cherry, you can just leave if he pisses you off that badly.

 

“Yeah, I'm gonna split. You guys gonna be okay without me?” The two of them glance at one another then at you as you stand up, brushing yourself off. You smell like smoke and dust, surprisingly enough.

 

“nah, we’ll be fine, squirt.” Stretch gives you a lazy wave, managing to look completely lost in the haze in the air despite the fact he's only had one puff.

 

“stay safe, kid. where ya headed anyways?” Sans passes the joint to Stretch and you cough, waving smoke away from your face as Sans makes and a face, apologizing with a, “sorry ‘bout that bud.”

 

“It's fine. Probably gonna see what Red’s up to, head to Grillby’s while I'm at it.” It's not exactly something the two of them look pleased with, but with a shrug Stretch takes a long draw from the blunt, blowing the smoke away from you. You appreciate his consideration.

 

“hm. alright, have fun. don't let the red bite.” With a wink from Sans and a laugh from Stretch, you leave the Swap household feeling like you can finally breathe once you get a breath of fresh air.


	6. Are you sure you know what you're doing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undertale Sans. Could be seen as platonic or romantic.

“Are you  _ sure _ you know what you're doing?”

 

“obviously.”

 

He's concentrating very,  _ very  _ hard. You're not sure he can do it, to be perfectly honest. It’s kind of funny to watch him try regardless.

 

“Sure you don't need any help?” It's probably the twelfth time you've offered. He just doesn't seem to know how the damn thing works.

 

“no.” It's a blunt answer, but there's a lot of frustration behind his voice. There's magic sparking at his phalanges, but even then it doesn't work.

 

“Sans. Here.” Unable to keep him suffering any longer lest you bust your gut, you hold out towards him a pair of nice, fashionable white gloves.

 

“what. are those.” He's about to throw his brand new phone at the wall. You've been watching him try to unlock it for the past hour. He's so stubborn.

 

“Gloves.” You're hysterical. You can't believe you did that. Skeletons can't use touchscreens, Papyrus told you. But for some stupid reason Sans hadn't known that and had been willing to try. And try. _And_ _try._

 

Apparently Mettaton had had the same problem originally, which was why he wore gloves. Alphys had told you so when you were thinking about getting Sans a new phone in the first place. And now, it looked like he might hit you. Or cry. Maybe both.

 

“are you fucking kidding me?” He's still staring at the gloves in your hands, and you aren't sure if he's going to take them or not. You can't stop laughing - he looks so angry.

 

“Yes-” Wheeze. “I was.”

  
Between taking the gloves, throwing the new phone at the wall, crying, or hitting you, he does none of the above. He just sits there, staring at you as you cry with laughter. There's no way you aren't going to hell for this.


	7. Are you threatening me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mafiatale Sans, Violence

“Are you threatening me?”

 

There's a knife to your throat. Of course he's threatening you. What a stupid fucking question.

 

He must think so too, because the look he throws you tells you just as much. The blade’s weight against your skin lightens just the slightest bit in his surprise and you have your chance-

 

You punch upwards towards the bend of his elbow, and his grip on the knife loosens enough that it goes clattering across the cement. The surprise on his face is delightful, and you take full advantage by bringing your knee up as swiftly as you can right between his legs.

 

And he's down. Bullseye!

 

“Wow. That wasn't that hard, actually.” You've never been mugged before, and you knew it wasn't something most people walked away from. Guess your not most people.

 

Turning your back towards the asshole on the ground, you make to leave. No need to stick around when you were done here.

 

What you don't see, however, is the guy recovering quicker than you'd thought probable. He crawls over to the knife, and the only warning you get before he runs towards you is him yelling like some kind of idiot.

 

Well, shit.

 

You turn, but he's gone? 

 

Well, not gone. There's a crash at the end of the alley, and you can see a hand hanging out of a dumpster clutching a knife. What the fuck?

 

“ya really should be more careful, doll,” You spin around, and leaning against the wall at the mouth of the alley is a short skeletal monster in a grey suit. Oh, great. One of those mobster monster types. Definitely not a crowd you need to get caught up in. He's grinning at you, hands in his trouser pockets. “you could've gotten hurt playin’ ‘round like that.”

 

“Don't see how it's any of your business.” You brush yourself off, and make to leave. “Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for your…  _ help _ , but I had it handled.”

 

“oh really?” He pushes himself off of the brick wall, and you can see the gun concealed on his person. “didn't seem like it.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

You walk away, feeling his eyes follow you. You really can't afford to get caught up in any of his affairs. You owed him now, so you knew this wouldn't be the last you ever saw of him even if you wanted it to be. 

  
If he ever needed a favor he'd find you, somehow. Monsters are just good like that.


	8. Be mine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Any Sans x Fem!Reader, Fluff

‘  _ Be mine. <3 ‘ _

 

He knew that handwriting. He knew it better than his own. 

 

It was yours.

 

He was stumped.

 

The inconspicuous love note (?) was placed deceptively on the back of a receipt, written in what looked like fresh ink. He'd found it on his desk beneath his mouse when he tried to use his computer before bed last night - certain it was recent, considering the date of the receipt was yesterday.

 

A loaf of white bread for $1.49

A two liter bottle of soda for $1.99

A box of - oh. Huh. Must be that time of month. Wait - did they  _ really  _ cost that much? Holy stars - he made a mental note to buy you some chocolates and maybe one of those heating blankets. That would help, right?

 

And it's totally not like he was buying the chocolates for any other reason than to comfort you in your time of need.

 

He slid the receipt into his pillowcase.

  
No other reason at all.


	9. Do I know you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undertale Sans x Reader, Fluff, Angst

“Do I know you?”

 

“huh? nope. never seen ya before in my entire life.” With a wink, the skeletal monster finishes serving a small kid, and they run off into the park, hotdog in hand, leaving their money on the counter.

 

You watch as he picks up the cash, placing it into his pockets without so much as counting it.

 

“You sure? I'm pretty sure we've met before.” You're leaning against the stand, giving him a once over as you try and think of any time you could've met such an impressionable monster during the last five years they've been on the surface.

 

“kid, if we'd met before d’you think you could’ve forgotten such a handsome mug like this?” He points to himself and you laugh, feeling slightly guilty but he chuckles along with you.

 

“Yeah, you're probably right.” You smile and lean back, somehow the silence settling between the two of you comfortable. You don't even know his name, and yet you've never felt more at ease. Too bad you don't see the way he looks at you, as if his soul is splitting in half.

 

“sans. sans the skeleton.” With a practiced smile he holds out his hand, and you turn your head to meet his cheerful gaze with your own warm smile.

 

“A skeleton? You don't say.” Cheekily, you take his hand only to pause at the feel of deflating air in your palm, the sound of a good practical joke hitting your ears.

 

You pause, confounded, meeting the shit-eating grin of a skeleton you had not known for more than three minutes. You think you're in love.

 

“Oh-” you start laughing, unable to keep your joy under wrap as you snort rather gracefully, in your opinion. “-my god. Is that what I think it is?”

 

Still holding his hand, you turn his palm and his grin grows ever wider when you lose your shit at the sight of a deflated whoopee cushion.

 

“only real,  _ bone _ -a-fide practical jokes here.” The pun pulls another laugh from you, and he watches, the lights in his sockets turning into small hearts.

 

“y/n. y/n the human.” You let go of his hand and he snorts, that snarky yet still joyous grin returning.

 

“a human? you don't say.”

  
  
  
  


You spend the rest of your walk talking to a charming skeleton, a growing sense within you certain you've seen him before - talked to him before. It's such a strange sense of deja vu, but that's nothing new. You've always been haunted by the feeling your life’s on repeat.

 

Later, after you you leave and Sans stumbles his way home after one too many shots at Grillby’s, he cries himself to sleep wishing things could just be as they once were. He misses you - the you he married and grew old with - more than anything.

  
He's not sure he can do it all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically after a true pacifist run you and Sans fell in love but then there was a reset. Eventually, after another true pacifist run Sans finds you again.


	10. Do you love me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Errortale sans x reader. Really fluffy??? So out of character... oh well.
> 
> Outertale cameo though!

“Do you love me?”

 

“hu- _u_ ** _h_**? wha ** _a_** **a** tt d _o_ y **o** ** _u_ ** me- _a_ **n**??” Two uneven eyes blink towards you as your feet touch the infinite ground of the Anti-void. Stretching your back by placing your arms high above you, you keep your distance, knowing better by now.

 

“You heard me.” This may not be the best tactic to finally get him to admit it, but you're tired of trying to pry it out of him. Normally you're patient with him - when it comes to Error you _have_ to be patient - but it's been so long since you've told him those three little words.

 

“n _o_ **ii** **d** ii-idn _’_ ** _’_** t.” He's lying. You know his ticks by now after so long, and by the way he avoids your gaze and focuses back on his cat’s cradle tells you more then words ever could.

 

“Error - do you love me?” You step closer, and he finally meets your gaze with a nervous twitch of his coding. The glitching line of his figure keeps shifting, and you know you might need to back off or he’ll crash.

 

“u _m m_ ** _ay_** **b** \- y **e** _sss- n_ oo _?_ **¿** ”

 

...

 

“Error?” He's furiously blushing, focus apparently 100% on his hands and the blue strings within them.

 

“y _e-e_ ** _s_ **?”

 

“Wanna go visit Outertale again?” You give him your warmest smile, knowing the outing would be good for him considering his current unstable form. The stars always did well to make him content.

 

He nods, the blue strings in his hands disappearing into his phalanges without much preamble. His entire mood changes as he stands, a hand in his jacket pocket, the other flicking open a portal to the starry AU. There's a cocky grin on his skull, and you step out before him to an open sky and cool pressure.

  
  


It isn't long until the two of you are sitting side by side on a familiar cliff, the lights around you bright and glimmering in a sky of stardust clouds and far off nebulas. Error sits a foot away from you, once more focused on his strings as he works on a doll. You keep your eyes above, enjoying the sheer miracle that such a place like this exists.

 

“hu ** _mm_** an - er _r,_ y/ _/_ **n**.”

 

“Hmm?” Humming in response, you turn your gaze his way, eyes catching on his current creation. “That's looking really good, Error.” You still didn't know who it was supposed to be - well, some alternate of himself - but beyond that, no clue.

 

“h _u-_ **u** h? o **h.** _t_ ha **n** ** _k_** s.” He pauses, looking at the doll half-heartedly, distracted. When he looks back at you, your gaze is already back on the stars above, eyes glistening in reflection.

  
He stays quiet, and wonders how you can possibly assume he _doesn't_ love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man I made this a lot more fluffy than I meant to???? Like, Error is REALLY out of character - but it's cute, right?
> 
> So at first I just had a single list of sentence starters, but now? I have a huge list of over 1,500 that have been shuffled. I am so ready to start writing these. I'm gonna have so much fun.
> 
> Expect something nsfw for the next chapter!


	11. *Not today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***
> 
> Underfell sans x reader, I wrote it imagining this as them role playing this scene, but it is written like rape. It doesn't go far into detail or the entire scenario, but please, do be weary. This is your warning.

“somebody woke up in the mood to fight this morning.”

Laughing as he held you down, the monster above you seemed to relish in the way you struggled against him. He was so much bigger than you – so much stronger. Normally where this deterred you, it only fueled your determination.

Not today.

“what’s wrong sweetheart?” you could feel his grin against your skin, his ribcage pressing to your back through his shirt. His bones were shuddering, rattling with his laughter and your attempts to get him off of you. “monster got’cha pinned, girly?”

Breathing directly into your ear, you tried tossing your head back into his skull. Maybe-

“wrong move pet.” with a sudden iron grip on the back of your neck your face was pushed down into the mattress. You could feel the familiar surge of his magic, static lacing the air, electricity in his bones that spread deep into your skin.

Gritting your teeth, you did your best to meet his inflamed iris, his bared fangs making your body spark in betrayal at the sight.

“Fuck you.” You flashed your own teeth, lips curled up in a pained grimace. He only seemed to enjoy the sight - the hot press inside his shorts twitching against your back.

"if that's what you really want, doll."


	12. Don't worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could be any Sans, dark undertones. Nothing too bad.

“don't worry. there's no one here.”

 

“Are you sure?” You're breathing heavily, the chilly air tearing into your lungs like a crisp blade. His grip is tight on your arms, cold fingers sturdy and firm as he holds you with what you assume is concern. The small space is too dark to see who your savior is, but nevertheless, you're grateful.

 

“well, i’m here.” His voice is a deep rumble, tinged with humor. It's a little unsettling in the way your spine shudders and your stomach seems to drop in fear, but you give him the benefit of the doubt, laughing breathlessly.

 

“You don't want to kill me, do you?” Despite the fact you're joking around, it's a genuine concern, knowing there are monsters outside the closet door you've been pulled into eager for your blood. Besides, you aren't too concerned at the moment, but his grip is beginning to hurt.

 

“not exactly.” It's then that your sight finally adjusts enough to see his own eyes - no, not eyes. Eye-sockets. A monster.

 

You freeze and he laughs, a bitter, dangerous sound.

 

“Don't - don't hurt me.” His grip tightens, certain to leave bruises as the outline of his grin sharpens. “Please.”

 

“shhh, it's alright sweetheart.” His face turns, morphing despite being made of solid bone. He's looking at you with some sad mockery of concern, hauntingly expressive despite being a skeleton.

  
“no one else can hurt you now. just me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fun to write, if a little vauge. If you guys can tell, I've been far to generous when it comes to happy things lately.


	13. It smells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undertale Sans x reader, a little more cutesy.

“Sometimes a certain smell will take me back to when I was young. Like fresh laundry - or your jacket. Which is really weird considering-”

 

“considering what?” At least he doesn't sound offended, despite the obvious insult you really hadn't meant to throw into his face just now.

 

“Your jacket. It's, well, y’know.” You vaguely gesture in his general direction, the familiar worn hoodie open and revealing one of his nicer shirts. No stains. At least, for now.

 

He raises a non-existent brow, and you shrug, despite the heat flashes running down your back. “...it stinks?”

 

“No - it's just, not freshly-laundered? And, well, worn? Stained? Um. But it doesn't smell  _ bad.  _ Nice, actually… I like how you -  _ it _ smells. Reminds me of home.” You're rambling, backtracking in a hurry to take it back. He looks extremely amused, and it kind of infuriates you. With a pout you turn away, huffing. “Whatever.”

 

He laughs, a deep rumble in your ears as he saunters closer, phalanges finding your sides as he leans in close. You  _ really  _ don't like the way he's invading your personal space, mainly because he's making you feel things you shouldn't. Oh, and there's that smell - lavender and chalk, mixed with the pungent smell of ketchup. Its… an earthy smell, rich and at the same time kind of a turn off.

 

“Can you please-”

 

“please what?” He asks, and you can hear the stretch of his grin in how jovial he sounds. He just  _ loves  _ to set you off-guard. “you're real cute when you're flustered, y’know that?”

  
You pull yourself away, giving him a frown despite the way you try and fight down a smile. “And you  _ stink. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear if no one knows what the prompt sentence is from...


	14. *I owe you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Continuation of Chapter 7**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Mafiatale Sans x Reader, extremely suggestive. Not Non-con or Dub-con, this would definitely play out as Consented.

“I owe you… don’t I?”

 

It’s that skeleton – hat monster that saved you a little over a month ago. He’s inside your house, standing as if he belonged. You’ve only just come home and yet here he is, waiting for you.

 

“you do.” He’s grinning, a wide smile seemingly carved upon his skull. There’s a lot of things you want to know – how he found you, why he saved you, and why the hell is there a vase of flowers on your table?

 

“Want anything to drink?” You set your keys down, finally taking the initiative to break your current impromptu staring contest. Closing the front door behind you, you walk past him into the kitchen.

 

You nearly scream however, because he’s suddenly sitting on your kitchen counters, rolling the sleeves f his dress shirt. His blazer is now folded neatly beside him.

 

But how?

 

Magic, more than likely.

 

“sorry didn’t mean to _rattle_ ya.”

 

Well, that’s one way to lighten the mood. Paired with the cocky, shit-eating grin he’s giving you, and you manage to let out a very (un)dignified snort in response.

 

“Never met a skeleton with a sense of humor before.” You’re joking, mainly because he’s the only skeleton monster you’ve ever met.

 

“better get used to it.” He fucking winks. Somehow. Magic.

 

“S’pose so.” You ass, opening your fridge to reach inside. You don’t really mind being indebted to a member of the monster mafia – despite being mafia, however, they were usually good people, or so you’ve heard.

 

Right as you bend over to grab a soda, however, a skeletal hand finds the small of your back. You pause, the worn texture of his somehow worn bones pressing against exposed skin.

 

His touch is firm, and you can feel him lean over you – he’s breathing against you. How?

 

(magic)

 

The air is tense, and the way he presses against you leaves little to the imagination when it comes to what he’s here for.

 

“i hope you’re ready to make good on your debt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyy???
> 
> I'm still unsure if I want to write smut for these oneshots yet. I mean, there's a lot of smutty prompts in my prompt list, but for ones like this and chapter 11, I'm still just... not sure.
> 
> Also, if there is ever a certain one-shot you really like, don't be afriad to ask for a continuation??? That just gives me more to work with! <3


	15. Crushing disappointments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undertale Sans x reader, w/ a family.

“right, son. and speaking of crushing disappointments-”

 

“Sans, no!” Elbowing him in the ribs, you ignore the way he pouts at you, your son staring up at the both of you with big eye-sockets. “You did wonderfully, Roman.”

 

“No, I didn't!” Okay. So he's a lot more upset than you thought he was. You give Sans a side-eyed glare, and if the way he winces is any indication he knows he's in for it later tonight, he knows he fucked up.

 

Falling to your knees you give Roman what you like to think is your most comforting smile, placing your hands on his arms. He shoves his way out of your grasp with a whine and you sigh, knowing he's just being upset, that's all. Letting your arms fall back down beside you, you continue to smile.

 

“Please don't hate me.” He's looking away from you, gaze downcast as he fidgets, phalanges pulling on a loose thread on the hem of his shirt.

 

“Where’d this come from?” You bring a hand up to raise his gaze to meet yours, noticing the tears in his eye-sockets. You draw him close, stroking his skull and fighting the urge to punch whoever it was that made your baby cry.

 

Right now that somebody seems like a certain skeleton you're married to.

 

For now.

 

“Ella said I was a mistake.”

 

Oh.

 

Oh,  _ really? _

 

Pulling away from him as he wipes away a stray tear, you look past Roman to see said little girl holding hands with her politician of a father as she ever so ‘gracefully’ accepts first place. “She did?”

 

He nods, and suddenly it clicks. Why he's been so on edge lately, why you found him crying himself to sleep the other night, why he's been so sensitive when it comes to Sans’ expectations.

 

If you weren't so pissed at Sans right now you'd tell him to watch Roman while you left to go give Mr. Senator over there a good punch to his jaw. While flinging his daughter out a window.

 

“Sans,” picking up Roman - he's so  _ light  _ \- and letting him wrap his arms around your neck, you turn to your husband and ignore the fear in his eyes. “Isn't that the senator that's been advocating  _ against  _ monster rights?”

 

“huh?” looking slightly relieved you're not about to tear him a new one for pressuring your son into doing a science fair he obviously didn't  _ want  _ to do, he looks past you and the lights of his eyes narrow as his face becomes drawn, smile forced. “oh. so it is.”

 

You desperately want to tell him what his daughter said to your son, but you decide it can wait, especially since said son is already upset. The look Sans is giving you is evident in how much he wants to dunk on them right now but you shake your head, rubbing gentle circles against your son's back.

 

“Let's go home.”

  
You really hope Mr. Senator over there doesn't mind getting his house egged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans is in troubleeee
> 
> Alright, well I'll be working on a continuation for chapter 14 here soon!


	16. Disgust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some version of sans idk in a domestic setting???
> 
> who brings chicken pot pie to thanksgiving anyways???

You never knew Sans could cook.

 

Well, more like bake, considering he’s made what looks like a chicken pot pie, quiche, and macadamia nut cookies. You brought baked macaroni and cheese, which is… edible(?).

 

You tried, okay? It’s not ramen, and it’s not burned, so that’s a plus, right?

 

Although… by now even Papyrus’ fettucini alfreido/spaghetti fusion looks better than your craptastic dish. Didn’t he used to set the kitchen on fire, once upon a time? Apparently not anymore.

 

Why did you ever come? Toriel’s made a fantastic looking Turkey, some stuffing just now coming out of the oven, homemade mashed potatoes, and most everything else that screams Thanksgiving. Undyne even brought what looks like fruit salad – is that a cheesecake cradled between Alphys’ claws? Oh no.

 

“Psst. Sans.” You elbow him in the side, the big-boned skeleton casting you a curious side-glance.

 

“psst. what’s up, bud?” Oh no. Frisk made Pumkin pie? On their own? _From scratch?_ Your baked macaroni looks like trash. You’ve set yourself up for disaster.

 

“Kill me now. Please.”

 

“what?” He looks extremely surprised you asked. Has he not seen the thing you created and called ‘food’ yet? You gesture towards Toriel who is currently in the process of heating it up.

 

You didn’t know skeletons could crunch their faces in disgust while chuckling. The more you know, or so you’ve heard.

 

“Sans. Please.”

 

“aww, c’mon pal. i can’t kill you. ‘sides…” Oh no. You regret everything. He’s giving you… _the look._

“we don’t want anyone to _pasta_ way, now do we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Toriel and Undyne will come to your rescue by being the first to try it. Frisk will go back seconds just for your dish. Sans will douse it in ketchup and mix it up with the rest of his dish in some giant mess of assorted non-thanksgiving thanksgiving food. Alphys enjoys it most of all, you think, but then again she likes anything with lots of cheese. She'll ask you for the recipe later on.
> 
> Papyrus looks conflicted for most of the meal. He doesn't try your macaroni at all until it's the last thing on his plate. Eventually, he takes a small bite. And starts yelling about how the heck pasta is baked and can still be pasta and how he didn't know macaroni could even taste like that and what the fuck it's so /good/.
> 
> Everyone ends up yelling at Papyrus to watch his mouth, with Sans looking more or less terrified. You can't stop laughing throughout the entire day.
> 
> (If you ever feel as if you aren't good at what you pride in, perhaps you need to find a new audience. Find people who enjoy your passions as much as you do, instead of trying to force yourself into new passions.)
> 
> * * *
> 
> man okay the smut continuation for chapters 7&14 (the mafiatale one for those of you too lazy to check bc i know i am) should be posted by this upcoming Wednesday. should i post it on this story or make a separate work altogether?
> 
> also, new csch chapter should be posted by Sunday.
> 
> and two other sin oneshots will be posted by Wednesday as well, hopefully. that's when i planned to have them finished, at least.


	17. I'd end my days with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written as ut sans, could be a different one if you squint hard enough.
> 
> Warnings for angst, character death.

_I'd end my days with you._

 

Isn't that what you promised?

 

Weren't those the _exact_ words he last heard you say before magic flooded his bones, clouding his mind until suddenly the two of you were pronounced monster and mate, bonded until the end of time?

 

Who knew you were such a filthy liar?

 

“I TRUSTED YOU,” Papyrus sobs, before his bones rattle with suppressed fury, tangerine sparks igniting into a raging storm of magic. _“I TRUSTED YOU!”_

 

He doesn't bother to reach out for his brother when he falls to his knees.

 

Undyne is nowhere to be seen - last Sans heard, she hasn't left her personal gym in a week. Alphys was here earlier, but she hadn't been able to take it and left. Frisk holds hands with a sobbing Toriel, eyes downcast. They don't make a single noise - they don't even cry. Mettaton is nowhere to be seen or heard of.

 

It's then that Asgore’s free hand finds Sans’ shoulder, the bones beneath his mandatory suit brittle and weak to the touch. Not much longer until he Falls Down completely. He's already been reduced to using this damn wheelchair.

 

Asgore doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to.

 

Within Sans’ fist he holds a bouquet of Lily's and Iris’, the stems crushed between his phalanges.

 

He's stonefaced as he shrugs off Asgore’s comforting grip, finding the strength - _the determination_ \- to stand on his own upon dusty bones.

 

“Sans don't -” Toriel tries to stop him - she really does - but Asgore blocks her. Sans gives the former king a thankful grimace of a smile before shambling forward.

 

“pap.” Sans takes enough agonizing steps forward to put his free hand on Papyrus’ shoulder. It should mortify Sans when his brother snaps his head towards him and actually _snarls,_ right eye burning a bright burnt orange.

 

When he sees it's Sans however, his expression morphs into the purest form of grief he's ever seen. Papyrus chokes on a sob despite not having any lungs. Fat iridescent tears are slipping down his baby brother's skull.

 

Carefully, he moves his hand from Papyrus’ shoulder to his face, wiping away tears only to leave behind the slick feeling of his dust. Papyrus holds his hands up as if he wants to hold him, large gloved hands so close yet so far. He knows his brother is far too fragile by now.

 

Sans musters what little strength he has left to smile - _really_ smile.

 

“c'mon bro,” His voice cracks, dust leaking through the gaps in his teeth as he speaks. “try not to... heh… be so _sternum._ ”

 

Dusting - _dying_ \- has never felt so peaceful. He's surprised by how calm he feels, how little hurts compared to every time he's been dusted in the resets.

 

Somehow he ambles onward before falling to his knees before the glossy slab of granite.

 

Y/N

19XX - 202X

_Some people live more_

_In 20 years than others do in 80._

_It's not the time that matters,_

_but the person._

 

He drops the flowers, the bright pastel colors muted by the ashen grey of his decaying bones. He never truly lived until he met you. And now….?

 

It's a beautiful day outside.

 

Birds are singing.

 

Frisk is sobbing his name.

 

Flowers are wilting.

  
His dust settles on the grave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may not have been able to keep your promise, but that's fine. He can do it, even if he hates doing so.
> 
> * * *
> 
> TAKE THE ANGST
> 
>  
> 
> (Smut for mafiatale due wednesday!)

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr.](http://luciidanni.tumblr.com)  
> [My Writing Tumblr.](http://scripttura.tumblr.com)  
>  Tell me what you think!


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